The Most German DD / Track / Burn Ever

"Jonathan Harper" (jbh) 01/14/2014 at 08:32 • Filed to: DD track burn

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Here we have three German vehicles, each unique for a different reason. You know the drill.

First is a VW Passat W8 4-motion, I always had a soft spot for these. Then the E55 AMG (HAMMER)wagon, which is cool for many supercharged V8 estate reasons. And lastly the 335d torque monster, with sport pack.

Tom McParland > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:34

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Easiest DD, Track, Burn, ever!

DD- Wagon

Track- BMW

Burn- VW

Mattbob > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:37

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dd: 335d

Track: AMG

Burn:VW

Hoccy > Tom McParland 01/14/2014 at 08:42

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I'll have that as well. The E-class is by far the most practical, and that VW could easily be mistaken as a 1.9 diesel..

Aloha Milkyway > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:42

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Daily the 335d for sure
Track the W8 for the lulz if it's a manual
Burn the E55 for its horrendous running costs

I'll switch the Passat for burn if it was an automatic

505Turbeaux > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:47

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Those W8's are a great thing until you have to fix them. Hold on, let me roll out the serpentine belt from up here in Maine, you see it yet down in NY?

toadterror > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:47

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Burn the Bugatti, daily the Wagon, track the BM.

offroadkarter > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 08:48

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Is this a joke?

Get rid of the VW pile, I'll keep the other 2

Maddox Kay > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 09:02

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Stuck between

DD 335d because torque, E90 and 36 mpg highway

Track E55 wagon for the lulz

Burn Passat

and

DD E55 wagon because wagon

Track 335d because it's the only one that could feel relatively at home on a track

Burn VW

m2m, apex detective > Tom McParland 01/14/2014 at 09:29

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This.

Such an easy choice that I won't even bother typing it out myself. :p

KnowsAboutCars > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 09:32

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It looks like I'm going against the grain here.

DD: VW

Track: Mercedes

Burn: BMW

thebigbossyboss > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 09:32

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DD: Mercedes Wagon

Track: Passat

Burn: BMW

I do not like BMW`s sam I am, I do not like them, that’s the way I am.

Would like BMW`s here or there? Would you park one anywhere?

I would not like BMW’s here or there. I see their drivers park them everywhere. I have seen them taking up handicap spots, when there are free spots covering the entire lot! I would not park one anywhere, I would only park where fair is fair.

Would you like them on the street? Would you like them on the beat?

I do not like them on the street, I find most of their drivers less than a treat. I do not like them on the beat, I don’t think taxpayers money should pay for something so neat.

Do you like them in your house? Do you like them to drive up Grouse?

I do not like them in my house, by spending that kind of money, I’d be forced to eat like a mouse.

In North Vancouver Grouse Mountain access road lay, but I prefer the gondola for that ride, so I can ski all day.

Would you park it in the back? Would you take it on the track?

Well I would park it the back, less someone thinks I am a BMW owner and attacks. I would not take it on the track, I’d take the Passat, I think it’s Phat!

Would you burn it in a fire, would you smoke the Beemer’s tires?

I would burn it in a fire, until the flames shot higher and higher. I would not take it here nor there, I would not smoke its tires anywhere.

Sam I am, let me be, I do not like BMW’s you see.

You do not like them so you say, Try it, try it, and you may. Try it and you may I say?

I may try one, one hopeful day, my best friend bought one, but he lives really far away. He let me drive his Celica fast, so trying the BMW should come to pass. I may just like it, as you say, but until that day, I shall stay this way.

Disclaimer: This was a funny poem I worked on this morning, and it’s a joke. The one BMW owner I have actually met in person here on Oppo was the nicest guy I ever met. He helped me not get lost in a really bad area of New Jersey, and for that I am very thankful. I would mention him by name, but I forget his commenter handle. He drives a Z4. EDIT: It's ilikecougars

As the poem says, my best friend also owns a BMW, so I don’t have it out for all the owners, BMW’s just don’t appeal to me for whatever reason.

I hope you enjoyed my poem, it was modelled off of Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. It’s an ubiquitous children’s book for where I am from, but it may not be where you are from, the world is a big place!

The original poem green eggs and ham is here: http://www.site.uottawa.ca/~lucia/courses…

PRBot II > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 09:40

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DD - Merc

Track - BMW

Burn - VW

thebigbossyboss > KnowsAboutCars 01/14/2014 at 09:43

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I hope then in this case, you take time to read my poem. Making poems is hard.

BKRM3 > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 10:02

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DD - 335d

Track - 335d

Burn - VW, Benz

MylesD > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 10:09

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DD - 335
Track - Amg
burn - passat

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 10:18

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Wait! They made the Passat with a W8 available!?

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > thebigbossyboss 01/14/2014 at 10:20

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You really made that? INCREDIBLE! That deserves its own post; not a comment!

thebigbossyboss > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 10:27

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Thanks man. Maybe you could share it to Oppo with the share comment button.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > thebigbossyboss 01/14/2014 at 10:40

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Better! Just made a post of it

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thebigbossyboss > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 10:43

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Thanks!

Casper > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 10:43

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Since there isn't an option for burn all I would do:
DD: AMG Merc
Track: BMW (I can fix it's problems with a lot of cutting and welding)
Burn: VW

PRBot II > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 11:08

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Much better!

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 11:30

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Damn, you are making this hard.

DD the BMW. Torque monster is good on commutes, and the rest of the chassis is decent for 8/10s driving.

Burn the VW. As noted on of the S4 threads, I have a thing about VWs and, well, fixing them.

Track the Merc. Preferably debadged, and with this on the rear window.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 11:33

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Yes, and you were able to get it with a 6 speed stick.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > 505Turbeaux 01/14/2014 at 11:35

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I was going to blame it on it being a VW.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 01/14/2014 at 11:43

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Dang... that seems like a lot of power.. my dad had an '03 V6 and that was quick!

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 11:45

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It was quick between stops at the service department.

VWs of that vintage aren't known for being easy and inexpensive to repair.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 01/14/2014 at 11:48

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My dad had to get rid of that car becuase his warranty was about to expire and it turned into a mess; ghost radio (changed stations whenever it wanted), airbag lights, check engine lights, broken glovebox doors (after dealer tried to change air filter); two tire blowouts... it was bad

Jonathan Harper > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/14/2014 at 12:29

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It's more smooth than quick. Just nice subtle push.

BJ > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 12:40

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I've ridden in the 335d with M sport package - it's perhaps the fastest car I've ever been in. It's wonderful!

Sunray09 > thebigbossyboss 01/14/2014 at 15:04

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I salute you.

thebigbossyboss > Sunray09 01/14/2014 at 15:14

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Thank you glad you enjoyed it.

Jonathan Harper > BJ 01/14/2014 at 15:35

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I drove it yesterday, and I have little doubt that a 335d would outrun an e90 M3 to 50 or even 60 mph.

TwoFortified > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 16:07

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Burn em all.

bob and john > Jonathan Harper 01/14/2014 at 22:39

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this is actually hard for me. i like all three. the BMW makes sense as a DD because of the diesel. but so does the merc because its a wagon.

you can track all thre...
but i like the W8. i've had a thing for funny/weird/left-field cars...
ARG....

opk, after some thinkings, it it is:
DD: BMW. cuz diesel.
track: merc. cuz i can carry spare tires in the wagon on the way to the track.
sadly, id have to burn the VW. DAM IT

SpeedSix > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 01/15/2014 at 01:37

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I think the W8 engine made about the same power as the modern 3.6L VR6 VW engine.